Humans of OUTniagara
HUGS (Hamilton United Gay Societies) saved my life. I started by reaching out to the telephone support line (published in personal section of the The Hamilton Spectator), and then later going to the Tuesday (Thursday(?) I forget which LOL) night coffee meetings. I can tell you without any doubt in my mind that I would likely be dead now, had it not been for this support that the organization provided. My faith had convinced me that I was an abomination to God — and there was no shortage of evangelical leaders on radio and TV, as well as people around me — that asserted this. A counsellor, Dave D. (R.I.P. my friend), was instrumental in helping me deal with the coming-out process, and learning to accept myself.
Although my experience was generally positive, it was there that I was made aware of the horrible injustices, treatment, and suffering of gay people. To this day, it still breaks my heart to remember (and witness) some of those stories. Many were condemned, even in their very own families, even as teenagers. A lot of those tormented souls are gone now, either lost to AIDS, or to violence, or to self-abuse.
Two former partners of mine are gone as well.
My current partner (we just celebrated our 29th anniversary!) was a volunteer with HANDS (Hamilton Aids Network for Dialogue and Support) for many years too — both with the parks program and also with the buddy program. The suffering was absolutely brutal.
So, I count my blessings. I survived this period in LGBT history, but I still mourn the loss of so many beautiful, talented people that the world did not get to appreciate. It was a terrible time indeed, and we should not forget.
– Paul Stoker
Humans of OUTniagara
